In the midst of life's suffering, some advice I was given by a wise mentor along the way has helped me get through some of the biggest and most painful trials in my life. The advice has to do with learning to ask the right question when you are in the midst of a difficult trial.
So often, when our life is rudely interrupted by a gripping grief, a terrible turn of events, or painful suffering, we tend to ask, "Why, God?!! Why is this happening?!" The trouble with this question is that it is mostly impossible to answer in the midst of the suffering, and it keeps us stuck in the loop of feeling like a victim, abandoned by God.
Most often God does not reveal the "why" while we are going through the difficult trial. If we continue to ask, "Why?!" over and over, it takes us to a place of feeling powerless, hurt, and confused.
However, if we change the question to, "What do you want me to learn through this?" we can almost immediately get answers from God's Word as to what we can learn. Getting an understanding of what we can learn, and then, what we can do while we are in the suffering, puts us in a place of being empowered.
Let me be quick to say that there is absolutely a need to acknowledge our feelings to God, to cry, to take an inventory of all our thoughts and emotions. We can strike a balance between crying out in pain to God and asking God to show us what He wants us to learn through this suffering.
From the Scriptures, we know that God has told us He often uses suffering to draw us closer to Himself, to lean on Him more, to depend fully upon Him, and to remember that God has an joyous and righteous Plan for eternity. He also teaches us nuanced thinking, how to understand others, and how to live for God's Kingdom.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
It might not feel like anything good can come from our suffering, but we must choose to stand in faith that God is good and He is faithful to use every single drop of pain to bring about something good and glorious one day.
Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to trust God, even when it feels impossible. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
The very next verse, in Proverbs 3:6, gives us instructions about how to move forward. It says, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight."
When we don't know what to do next, we can know, from God's Word, that we can give God praise IN the circumstance (not for the circumstance). 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 says, "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
If you don't know how you will ever recover from this trial, this suffering, and you are worried about being able to continue to do all the things in this world that are needed to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, you can quote Scriptures to yourself about God as the Provider.
Philippians 4:19 reminds us, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
There are plenty more Bible verses that can teach us how to learn through our suffering, but I wanted to encourage you to make the shift, sooner rather than later, in the question you are asking God in your trial. I am speaking from my own personal experience as well, when I thought my husband was going to die on a ventilator in 2022, the only way I was able to get through the months of Andy's hospitalization and rehabilitation was to do all the things I was taught to do by God's Word.
I praised God while I was sitting in Andy's ICU room watching as the ventilator did all the breathing for him. I sang worship songs, praise songs, and I cried out to God that I would need Him to provide wisdom for the many decisions I had to make throughout Andy's care and beyond. God did guide me. I was able to quickly sign up Andy for health insurance through the Market Place so that he could go to a rehab facility later, I was able to talk to the doctors and ask the nurses questions about Andy's medications (he was getting too many sedating meds at one time) . . . I could go on and on about how God guided me.
I did all these things because God empowered me. I could not have done it on my own strength. Looking back, I can see how I struck a balance - some days I was full of sorrow and grief, not feeling very faith-filled that Andy would recover, but after I poured out my grief to God (and I probably asked him "Why?!!" several times at first), I found it so empowering to switch to asking God, "What do you want me to learn?"
As it turns out, God taught me how to do things like navigate insurance issues, deal with doctors and nurses, deal with our finances, make big decisions, deal with relatives/friends who said things that were NOT helpful . . . the list goes on and on about what I learned.
Most of all I learned that I really could trust Jesus to help me. I might have to learn this same lesson in other ways through future trials, but I can honestly say God used that scary situation to cause me to trust God more and to learn about the Goodness of God's character.
In the Love of Jesus,
Sherry Joy Collier, Artist & Therapist at The Praying Heart Art Studio